The Santa changing area was the back of the Teacher’s Room; it had a sink, a table, a cupboard, lots of boxes and me. There was no obvious location for my Santa costume so I started looking in all the boxes. From the other side of the curtain I heard a child talking to the teachers and this made me feel like a fugitive. To be more specific, I felt like a fugitive who was being sheltered by kind farmers whilst the small but powerful police were after me. Anyway, there was only fifteen minutes until show time and all I could find in the boxes were Santa’s black shiny boots.
“Are you ok?” they asked me when the kid had gone. The curtain was pulled back slightly and they passed me the boxes of Santa outfit, everything from coat to eyebrows. I had with me two red cushions that I was going to stuff under my red coat to boost me up to Santa proportions. I also had the idea that this might make my voice deeper and more Santa like.
I got changed and then the teachers made some adjustments to my coat and beard. One teacher stuck on my eyebrows and I was more or less ready. My Santa belt was holding my cushion in quite well but I was worried about it slipping so held it as I walked. When it was time one teacher led me out to the stairs, where another one told me to follow her to the second floor.
Nervously, we walked up the stairs and into a classroom. I could hear all the kids in the Hall and some teacher getting them all riled up for Santa Claus. I was led to a balcony that ran along the outside of the school and ended in a door leading to the Hall. The Hall windows were all blacked up so no one could see in or out. The teacher leading me was receiving signals from another teacher on the other side of the school, who was making hand gestures through the window.
The door to the Hall opened, a teacher looked out, saw me and slammed the door shut again. The bag of rubbish they had given me as a sack was getting rather heavy and my beard was blowing in the wind. I could see the third years running around in the playground opposite and wondered what they would think if they looked up and saw me there. The door opened again and I was gestured to walk forwards. There was a curtain in front of me and I wasn’t sure whether I should enter or not. I decided it must be time so pushed my way through the curtain.
I found myself in a large room full of kids, the woman from the previous day was standing at the front in a Santa hat and holding a microphone. She looked startled to see me and it was clear that I had arrived too soon. We looked at each other, I looked at the kids, they looked at me. There was only one thing for it, “Hohoho Merry Christmas everybody,” I shouted nervously.
The main lights in the room went out and a spotlight came on instead to illuminate me. I was told to go to the front of the room, between the two groups of kids. I was still shouting, “Merry Christmas,” but the children were not reacting like you would expect them to on seeing Mr Claus himself. They were looking at me not with joy or fear but just sheer confusion.
The problem was that since I don’t teach the kids at the kindergarten they had never seen me before. Since they had never seen me before they found it really odd to see a guy with pale skin and blue eyes in their school at all. So even without a costume I was strange to them, but strap on a red fluffy suit, an ill-fitting beard and bobbly hat and it was no wonder they felt confused.
All this went through my mind as I took my place and the host explained to the kids that Santa doesn’t speak Japanese but that two kids from each class were going to come up and ask me a question. A line of dazed children formed itself to my left and the first two kids approached me, they asked me the sleigh question in unision (and in Japanese). The host, it really was her show, translated it for me and I answered in my semi-deep attempted Santa voice. The kids were then supposed to shake my hand and sit down but instead they gazed absently into my bewitching blue eyes and extended white eyebrows. Eventually another teacher came to drag them away.
This pattern repeated itself until all the questions had been asked. It was then that I realised my cushion was showing from under my coat. I moved my hands to cover it but that gave me the posture of a rather uptight nervous Santa instead of the friendly, relaxed legs apart Santa we all know and love. Anyway, it was present time and the music started.
They had a Christmas CD going and lots of teachers came out like holiday reps to get the kids all excited and clapping along. The first row of children stood up and began filing past me. The host was sat by my side handing me presents which I gave to each kid saying, “Merry Christmas.” The kids were supposed to shake my hand and say, “Thank you,” but this caused them a certain amount of difficulty. After giving them a present I offered my right hand for them to shake but they didn’t understand the opposite hand idea of shaking hands so invariably stuck out their right hand too. This was the case so many times that I started shaking with both hands, so no matter what hand they stuck out I would clasp it with both of mine and shake it like I was royalty or something.
Two hundred presents later all the kids sat down and the host started going on about something or other. Then suddenly she asked me if I could stay. This was new, we hadn’t gone through this the day before, it wasn’t in the script! I looked for some signal of what to say, she gently shook her head and I said into the microphone, “Sorry children I am very very busy.” She liked that answer and repeated it in Japanese with a great degree of enthusiasm. However, I did have time for the kids to sing for me.
The children on the right side of the room stood up and someone started playing a piano behind me. They sang Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer in Japanese and I tried to merrily sway my head along with the song. They were still a collection of confused young people though, they looked like sheep trapped in a field going through the familiar motions of chewing, or singing a Christmas song whilst absently staring ahead. Still, they sang nicely and I told them so when the host suddenly thrust the microphone into my face like I was a judge on Pop Idol or something.
The kids on the left sang a different song and I again tried to sway my head along to it merrily. When they finished I made another comment for them and then it was time to leave. This time though, when I walked to the back of the room all the kids started shouting and reaching for me. Finally, it seemed, they had got over their confusion and were reacting to me like I was a real Santa. They pulled my coat, shook my hand, waved at me and it was all very sweet. I waved goodbye to them, wished them a merry Christmas once more and was led back to my own clothes.
I got back into my Nick costume but left Santa’s eyebrows on because I liked them and wanted someone to take a picture of me in them. All the teachers in the Teacher’s Room made the hand gesture for, “You’ve still got Santa’s eyebrows on,” when I opened the curtain. I reassured them that I knew this and asked them to take a picture.
And here it is.
When it was time to peel off the eyebrows lots of my eyebrow hairs came off too, blemishing Santa’s pure white eyebrows with a few dark hairs of my own. When the teachers saw this they were concerned that I might be in pain but I made the hand gesture for, “My eyebrows are much too thick for this to cause me any pain,” and so all was well. As a reward they gave me 2000 yen of book tokens and a big stocking of snacks and treats.
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